Here is first a short introduction to psychiatric labeling:
Since many years countless names and labels for disorders got made available, written down by psychiatrists, describing the malfunctions of a person in its behaviors, attitutes and also specially with its learning disabilities. The final accomplishment of collecting all this data is now showing us, that we got some more labels or names for certain problem areas. So, instead of saying "My daughter is not good in school" we say now, "My daughter has a learning disorder, called Child ADHD".
What I personally don't like on labeling disorders like ADD and ADHD is, that having a learning disorder gives more the impression, that there is something wrong with this child personally, instead of just saying, that it has to get its guts together and catch up in school. Because in that way we can already take out the "symptom theory" and still have something, what urgently needs a real handling. Several parents had some losses with not being able to help their children with learning, and gave up with putting them on prescriptions drugs instead. Though, not doing that and still continuing to search further for true help, is here the best way through and out. Because we all want to put only normal and self-responsible, happy and awake children in this world, who can be excited and know how to do things. They should also stay competitive with all the other "normal" children. We really don't want to turn them somewhere into new drug addicts, with all these so-called symptoms from a doctor. It will make them even more unable and let them feel mentally sick, for their entire life.
How can a psychiatrist give recommendations about something in a field, where he knows nothing about it. He doesn't even know the child personally and cannot tell at all, what is wrong with it and for what it might need correction. It could be as well only an education problem on the side of the parents. How does here help a drug ?
Children on drugs, not wanting to do their homework for example, can now easily say to their parents: "The doctor said I'm unable to learn and I will now better take my pills for the afternoon, because I have ADHD."
Are you really buying that crap ?
This is so much down the hills, with having created this solution with drugs and lables, that the only question is: What will this child do later on, becoming independent and successful in life ? Should it tell everybody: "I have ADHD, that's why I cannot do my job. And I'm also on a Medicaid program." Do we want this to happen? Is this what we need, to help ourselves into a better world ?
Specially with learning, there are always some unable, non-comprehend and hyperactive children. They exist as long mankind is on it's way. But as long they are not really completely handicapped or retarded, they can learn to read and write like everybody else does. It just depends on the learning technique. They may have to get first through a major teaching, drilling and understanding on all the phonics as a very basic introduction to the English language, with also applying the correct literature on each reading level for it.
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(What comes after that, you will find later on my Therapist Page down in the link section with a very effective "Study Technology for Children" as a real solution, with another web page about "What Is A Learning Disorder ./. What Is Study Technology". It also applies for Adult Learning and Adult ADHD, but then written in Adult Reality)
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On a drug-website on the Internet I found the following defintion for ADD and ADHD, and then they promoted selling their "helpful Drugs". I'm not mentioning the name:
It’s normal for children to occasionally forget their homework, daydream during class, act without thinking, or get fidgety at the dinner table. But inattention, impulsivity and hyperactivity are also signs of the attention deficit disorder (ADD and ADHD), which can affect your child’s ability to learn and get along with others. The first step to addressing the problem, is to recognize the signs and symptoms.
There is nothing to address, they explained it already very well, what the problem really is. It just needs a good control and attention of the parents, with sometimes also showing some good nerves, to get a child correctly educated.
This is now very important:
Many parents have no clue, what their child might have going on, if it has something going on and is it really possible that OUR CHILD has something going on. This is one of the main reasons, because they cannot find out. They don't know, how to get or pull their child's needed information, or sometimes even to reveal something bad. And then to receive back from the child, showing his attention and understanding. Some people believe, that the doctor knows it and that drugs will help. Or is it just plain non-confront, leaving it all up to the responsibility of the doctor. What does he know about this child, nothing ! That's maybe the why, that he has all these "labels " he can use and drugs, to make everybody else happy.
There are also other parents, who are already confronting the problems with their children and this already for a longer time, where they work together with their completely willing child and are still not able, to find a solution. Ending up with a drug prescription for the next 5 years would be the worst thing, what could possibly ever happen to them.
But there are solutions, and that's the good part of it. All the following steps below will help you preventing catastrophes and all these unneeded doctor visits.
1. Parents have to know how to raise a child.
Nobody who is married and is getting a baby, is automatically trained raising a child. There are several factors, which can cause problems. There are parents, who have no time to look after the child or who cannot grasp what the child is doing, and also don't understand very well all the things, it learns in school. Very bad are parents, who are not so much interested into their childs daily problems and let it just go: "It will be all fine." The child may create its own world and not talk about his problems anymore to anybody in the family. "My mother could kill me if she likes to, but I would not tell one honest word to her about my secrets. I just lie".
Treat a child more as a friend or partner and be also willing to participate into its world and talk about things, but also let the child make its own decisions. To talk about the daily problems in school and about learning, teachers, friends and even sex and drugs, will help preventing sudden unexpected catastrophies. When a child feels really home, understood and cared for, with having a good relation to its family members, it likes to talk or socialize also specially about its own problems and can fully accept the helpful advice of a parent (if it really makes sense). Never invalidate a child or critisize it, and instead of it, try to get it to understand in a nice conversation, what might be misunderstood. Clear it up with your child in a nice two-way communication (a two-way communication is, where you and your child interact in a conversation with questions and answers and also bring up new subjects, like discussing things). Never finish a normal communication in a negative way. Make sure, the child is feeling completely fine afterwards. Also respect your child's integrity. It is not being you, it is a different person. But you are allowed to easily scream at the moment, where you are right and the child is off the rails.
To let your child feel important and respected, also talk about your own personal problems and situations, and discuss possible solutions. Your child will love that. It can now contribute and help you with its own little integrity and knowledge, and will feel great about it. It also helps your child in growing up.
Now something else ...
There might be times, where the child behaves in a strange way, is crumpy and whatever it says or answers, doesn't make sense. If you have normally a great relation to your child, you can overcome that and find out pretty easy with questions, what it actually really is. Most important is, that you keep it by the above rules and you will finally win. Remember, when you did something wrong, how you then felt telling it to somebody. It is not so easy. But this is very normal and the child's reaction might not be against you. Don't invalidate your child and just don't stop asking to find out more, until everything comes out and is said correctly. If you don't do that, then there is a secret between you and your child, what is not as good. So, it has to be done !
2. Child's performance in school and how the learning part goes.
Give your child a daily schedule, it has to keep in. Then it knows, when to do its homework and when there is time for play. Then it will feel your ethics presence, and it will work on keeping it in. Have always questions about its homework, so you can find the weak points early enough and so become more able finding out, if it is really doing fine. Care for your child, and it will tell you everything about it.
This is actually pretty simple ...
If you as a parent know all the scores from school in all subjects during the year and you are observing the behavor of your child continually, then you will easily realize, as soon as some learning problems start to arise. Parents who care, will always have control over their child, because they KNOW ! It is only the unexpected, what is causing major catastrophies, like "We didn't know anything about it". How can that happen ?
In my reality, bringing one's own child to a psychiatrist and getting it blindly put on drugs, is only the result of having somewhere already failed at the beginning. But even then, it can get all changed back immediatley, with taking the child off drugs and explaining to him or her that the "label" is gone and that it is not really sick anymore, and then find some better solutions.
Last not least about ADD (attention deficit disorder)
ADD comes most likely from an environmental society problem with TV, computers, computer games, phones and also involving the Internet, but it can also come from too much sweets and candies or from mainly eating the wrong food. But pretty often from friends in school, having the same problems (probably also ADD and ADHD cases). The child is so busy doing that stuff, that it does not really have any time any more available for learning. You have to better watch and control this situation. A good advice is also talking to the teacher in school. Best put it for learning in a room with no computer or TV in it, and with none of these friends. This is, what makes it so hyperactive and impulsive. The best is to completely forbit all of this entertainment, until the entire homework for the next day is perfectly finished, or a preparation for the next exam got done satisfactory. Also tell it to all its friends, it will help cooling it down.
You have to be tough, controlling and checking and always think with: LOOK, DON'T LISTEN !
What you have to control as a parent, are specially also all these possible drug and sex problems, any type of ongoing criminality and also getting the homework done on time, at all times. People are sometimes asking for some "natural ADD and ADHD remedies". I'm sure, with the above you got one of the best. Because it consists of life, love, observation, control, communication, respect and understanding. And all that is very, very natural !
- One of the best treatments for ADHD and ADD, I guess -
On my Therapist Page in the link section you will find a very effective Study Technology, easy to learn, where even illiterates can learn reading and writing within weeks. There are also videos about Successes from Students, Teachers and the "World Illiteracy Crusade".
My Therapist Page:
"Find The Right Answers To Your Life Problems"
On our website below we are offering other workable solutions, related to your personal life. It is for everybody, who wants find out about the real reasons, why we sometimes react wrong in our relations, creating our own personal problems and situations. It also explains, what is keeping us down and seems blocking sometimes our emotions.
